Alternatives for when you’re feeling angry or restless:
- Scribble on photos of people in magazines
- Viciously stab an orange
- Throw an apple/pair of socks against the wall
- Have a pillow fight with the wall
- Scream very loudly
- Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines
- Go to the gym, dance, exercise
- Listen to music and sing along loudly
- Draw a picture of what is making you angry
- Beat up a stuffed bear
- Pop bubble wrap
- Pop balloons
- Splatter paint
- Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black
- Filling a piece of paper with drawing cross hatches
- Throw darts at a dartboard
- Go for a run
- Write your feelings on paper then rip it up
- Use stress relievers
- Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it
- Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc
- Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor)
- Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock
- Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself
- Flatten aluminium cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go
- On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture
- Break sticks
- Cut up fruits
- Make yourself as comfortable as possible
- Stomp around in heavy shoes
- Play handball or tennis
- Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.
- Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you’re done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing this)
Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself:
- Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or in your mouth
- Run your hands under freezing cold water
- Wax your legs
- Drink freezing cold water
- Splash your face with cold water
- Put PVA/Elmer’s glue on your hands then peel it off
- Massage where you want to hurt yourself
- Take a hot shower/bath
- Put tiger balm on the places you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores.)
Alternatives that will distract you or take up time:
- Say “I’ll self harm in fifteen minutes if I still want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades
- Color your hair
- Count up to ten getting louder until you are screaming
- Sing on the karaoke machine
- Complete something you’ve been putting off
- Take up a new hobby
- Make a cup of tea
- Tell and laugh at jokes
- Play solitaire
- Count up to 500 or 1000
- Surf the net
- Make as many words out of your full name as possible
- Count ceiling tiles or lights
- Search ridiculous things on the web
- Colour coordinate your wardrobe
- Play with toys, such as a slinky
- Go to the park and play on the swings
- Call up an old friend
- Go “people watching”
- Carry safe, rather than sharp, things in your pockets
- Do school work
- Play a musical instrument
- Watch TV or a movie
- Paint your nails
- Alphabetize your CDs or books
- Make origami to occupy your hands
- Doodle on sheets of paper
- Dress up or try on old clothes
- Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop
- Write out lyrics to your favorite song
- Play a sport
- Read a book/magazine
- Do a crossword
- Draw a comic strip
- Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you’ve been self harm free using pretty colored paper
- Knit, sew, or make a necklace
- Make ‘scoobies’ - braid pieces of plastic or lace, to keep your hands busy
- Buy a plant and take care of it
- Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon
- Browse the forums
- Go shopping
- Memorize a poem with meaning
- Learn to swear in another language
- Look up words in a dictionary
- Play hide-and-seek with your siblings
- Go outside and watch the clouds roll by
- Plan a party
- Find out if any concerts will be in your area
- Make your own dance routine
- Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favorite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself
- Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day
- Finish homework before it’s due
- Take a break from mental processing
- Notice black and white thinking
- Get out on your own, get away from the stress
- Go on YouTube
- Make a scrapbook
- Colour in a picture or colouring book.
- Make a phone list of people you can call for support. Allow yourself to use it.
- Pay attention to your breathing (breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth)
- Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)
- Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)
- Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it
- Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can.
- Take a small step towards a goal you have.
Alternatives that are completely bizarre. At the least, you’ll have a laugh:
- Crawl on all fours and bark like a dog or another animal
- Run around outside screaming
- Laugh for no reason whatsoever
- Make funny faces in a mirror
- Without turning orange, self tan
- Pluck your eyebrows
- Put faces on apples, oranges, or other sorts of food
- Go to the zoo and name all of the animals
- Color on the walls
- Blow bubbles
- Pull weeds in the garden
Alternatives for when you’re feeling guilty, sad, or lonely:
- Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self harming
- Draw or paint
- Look at the sky
- Instead of punishing yourself by self harming, punish yourself by not self harming
- Call a friend and ask for company
- Buy a cuddly toy
- Give someone a hug with a smile
- Put a face mask on
- Watch a favorite TV show or movie
- Eat something ridiculously sweet
- Remember a happy moment and relive it for a while in your head
- Treat yourself to some chocolate
- Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do
- Look at things that are special to you
- Compliment someone else
- Make sculptures
- Watch fish
- Let yourself cry
- Play with a pet
- Have or give a massage
- Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind
- If you’re religious, read the bible or pray
- Light a candle and watch the flame (but please be careful)
- Go chat in the chat room
- Allow yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion
- Accept a gift from a friend
- Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people
- Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles
- Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book
- Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (Sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages)
- Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read
Alternatives for when you’re feeling panicky or scared:
- “See, hear and feel”-5 things, then 4, then 3 and countdown to one which will make you focus on your surroundings and will calm you down
- Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to
- Meditate or do yoga
- Name all of your soft toys
- Hug a pillow or soft toy
- Hyper focus on something
- Do a “reality check list” – write down all the things you can list about where you are now (e.g. It is the 9th November 2004, I’m a room and everything is going to be alright)
- With permission, give someone a hug
- Drink herbal tea
- Crunch ice
- Hug a tree
- Go for a walk if it’s safe to do so
- Feel your pulse to prove you’re alive
- Go outside and attempt to catch butterflies or lizards
- Put your feet firmly on the floor
- Accept where you are in the process. Beating yourself up, only makes it worse
- Touch something familiar/safeLeave the room
- Lay on your back in bed comfortably (eyes closed), and breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2. Make sure to fill your belly up with air, not your chest. If your shoulders are going up, keep working on it. When you’re comfortable breathing, put your hand on your belly and rub up and down in time with your breathing. If your mind wanders to other things, move it back to focusing ONLY on the synchronized movement of your hand and breathing.
- Give yourself permission to…. (Keep it safe)
Alternatives that will hopefully make you think twice about harming yourself:
- Think about how you don’t want scars
- Treat yourself nicely
- Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you’re thinking about self harm
- Create a safe place to go
- Acknowledge that self harm is harmful behavior: say “I want to hurt myself” rather than “I want to cut”
- Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt” even if you don’t believe it
- Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: it’s up to you what you do
- Think about how you may feel guilty after self harming
- Remind yourself that the urge to self harm is impulsive: you will only feel like cutting for short bursts of time
- Avoid temptation
- Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets: wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut
- Be with other people
- Make your own list of things to do instead of self harm
- Make a list of your positive character traits
- Be nice to your family, who in return, will hopefully be nice to you
- Put a band-aid on the area where you’d like to self harm
- Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW
- Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe
- Notice “choices” versus “dilemmas”
- Lose the “should-could-have to” words. Try… “What if”
- Kiss the places you want to SH or kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you care about myself and that you don’t want this
- Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns
- The Butterfly project- draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off. If that does happen, you can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love.
- Write the name of a loved one [a friend, family member, or anyone else who cares about you] and write their name where you want to self harm. When you go to self harm remember how much they care and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself.
- think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself.
- Make a bracelet out duct tape, and put a line on it every day (Or any period of time) you go without self harm. When it’s full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress.
Alternatives that give the illusion of seeing something similar to blood:
- Draw on yourself with a red pen or body paint, or go to a site such as this, where you ‘cut’ the screen (be aware that some users may find this triggering, so view with caution)
- Cover yourself with plasters where you want to cut
- Give yourself a henna or fake tattoo
- Make “wounds” with makeup, like lipstick
- Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out.
- Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you’ve made by dropping six or seven drops of red food color into each of the ice-cube tray wells.
- Paint yourself with red tempera paint.
- ‘Cut’ your skin with nail polish (it feels cold, but it’s hard to get off)
Alternatives to help you sort through your feelings:
- Phone a friend and talk to them
- Make a collage of how you feel
- Negotiate with yourself
- Identify what is hurting so bad that you need to express it in this way
- Write your feelings in a diary
- Free write (Write down whatever you’re thinking at that moment, even if it doesn’t make sense)
- Make lists of everything such as blessings in your life
- Make a notebook of song lyrics that you relate to
- Call a hotline
- Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but you don’t have to send it if you decide not to)
- Start a grateful journal where everyday you write down three: good things that happened/ things that you accomplished/ are grateful for/ made you smile. Make sure the journal is strictly for positive things. Then when you feel down you can go back and look at it.
I don’t care what kind of blog I have I will blog this no matter what.
"Craving sensation: feeling unreal" was such a huge part of the beginning of my relapse. I was convinced that people in front of me didn’t even exist and I kept touching things and trying to feel sensation. I’m reblogging because I know that that was so horrifying for me and I never want anyone else to go through it.
He’s more worried about the rumors than you are. He wants to make sure that you know that they aren’t true and that he’s a good boyfriend. You know better and know that people are trying to to make up stories for gossip. You assure him that you know that they’re all lies.
Being labeled the “womanizer” of the band is hard on both of you. He can’t be seen with a girl without suspicions that he’s cheating on. You know they aren’t true, but you always have a doubt in the back of your mind and it gets you angry. He the one who always calms you down and you guys always go out to show the world and your his one and only.
He’s a really friendly guy and could talk to anyone. Sometimes it could be mistaken for flirting and people do. So when there are claims that Niall has multiple girlfriends, you just shut down. Your mood is low, you’re a lot quieter, and don’t feel like talking to him. All you need is to is alone time and he knows that. And when you come back it’s all about you.
There have been stories of him not being faithful in past relationships, so you were a bit hesitant in going into this one. He has proved time and time again that you can put your trust in him. When rumors start acting up again, it gets him angry. It just wants him to work harder in the relationships to prove not just other people, but most importantly you.
When rumors come up that he’s spending time with his ex-girlfriend, you get sad. They had been together for an extremely long time and you always knew that he still has feelings for her. You start to distant yourself from him, expecting the break up soon. Louis notices and knows the problem immediately. Being Louis he cheers you up right away and things go back to the way they were.
*Sorry I haven’t posted in a really long time, and that this preference really sucks. :(
this should be the most reblogged post on tumblr before it dies
It’s pouring outside and nearly a storm. You’re about to go to bed when there’s a knocking outside your door. Being a little hesitant, you crack the door just a bit and see Liam outside soaking wet with a sad puppy look. You invite him in for a hot cup of tea and a long talk.
You wake up a month after your break up and see millions of mentions on twitter. Looking closer they are all YouTube links. You click it and see its a video of Harry singing a song that he wrote just for you. You comment on the video and everybody knew you guys were back together.
Your break up didn’t last long. He took one step out of the room, when you yelled “Stop!”. You both took one look at each other and knew this wasn’t a good idea. You would rather have Niall long distance than not have Niall at all.
Even though you guys broke up you still liked to check up on him. While on Tumblr, everybody was buzzing about Zayn’s new tattoo. You took a closer look and saw it was your intials. You started tearing up a bit, knowing it was forever on his skin and called him up.
It was a day after your break up and you were miserable. You know it’s going to get worst. What you felt bad about the most is how it ended. With a fight. The doorbell rang and you didn’t want to get up, but it kept ringing. You opened the door to see your whole front yard filled with flowers and Louis standing there with a biggest bouquet of all.
He is literally acts like a sad puppy. Just mopes around and follows everyone. Does what he’s told and nothing else.
He can’t even look at other women without thinking about you. Every time he sees one it just reminds him of what he did, and how he couldn’t fix it even if he tried.
He has no energy anymore. No energy to eat, to perform, to talk, none at all. He’s also mad at the fans, blaming them for the break up. He’ll lay in bed looking over pictures and texts from you and and cry his eyes out.
He’s angry. Angry at you, angry at the cigarettes, but mostly angry at himself. Angry because he didn’t fight to keep you. Angry that he just let you go.
He tries to act mature. He wants to show you that he’s changed. And he can be the person you want to him to be. He doesn’t care what other people think just wants you.
He was just sad and down during the whole interview.
The interviewer was a very attractive woman, but he didn’t care since all he wanted was you.
When the interview asked who was taken he raised his hand halfway till he remembered what happen then quickly put it down remembering what happened.
He didn’t even go to the interview, he knew he would get in trouble, but he didn’t give a flying squirrel if you weren’t with him.
During the interview everyone was waiting for the funny and immature Louis to come out, but he never did being too depressed about what happened between the two of you.
Liam was such a caring guy and it had its up and downs. Sometimes it felt like he put the fans in front of you a lot. Time after time, the fans this and the fans that and you were sick of it. You got into a fight with him about them and ended the relationship.
He is known for being the flirt. And sometimes he just took it a little too far. Everytime you guys went out there was always a girl in the way. He tried to convince you endless times that you were the one for him, but it got to a point where you couldn’t take it anymore.
Niall being the more popular one, the fans were even harsher. Getting the hate online was fine you didn’t know who they were and didn’t a care. But once the hate gets physical and you end up in the hospital it’s just too much for you to handle. You break up with him there and then and he leaves the hospital sobbing.
You hated smoking. Period. The smell, the taste, the people who did. Unfortunately one of those people was your boyfriend. You told him time and time again to stop. He wouldn’t listen he kept on smoking. It wasn’t till you found out that he spent over a hundred dollars on them and sent you over the edge.
Something you liked about Louis was the he was the oldest. You would also think he was the most mature. You were wrong. Most of the time it was funny. Then the rest was just annoying. Why couldn’t he just grow up. It was too much for you. You gave him an ultimatum, either he grew up or you guys were done.
You were obsessed with aging always poking atnyour face and making sure you didn’t have any wrinkles or creases. While hanging out with Liam were guys were laughing really hard and he said “I love the crinkles by your eyes.” “What?” You ran to the bathroom looked in the mirror and realized you did have them. Liam came in right after you and reassured that he didn’t care they were the cutest things ever.
Something you and Harry had in common was that you both loved skinny jeans. But sometimes they were just a size too small. One day while getting ready you were trying to fit into your jeans and Harry was just watching you from the bed. “Babe, were going to be late.” You knew and wanted him to give you just one more second. You got on the bed laying down trying to squeeze them on when you fell off. Harry just laughed and suggested you wear a skirt.
You had self esteem issues like everybody else. And Niall would help you through them by telling you were beautiful and stuff like that everyday. But sometimes it wasn’t enough. You would lay in bed with dry tear stains not even wanting to look in a mirror. On one of those days he came into your room and tucked himself in the sheets and held you while you cried. “Just love yourself like I love you.”
You were hanging out at Zayn’s flat just watching some TV. You felt someone staring at you and saw it was Zayn. You turned off the TV and asked what he was thinking about. “Do you ever think what brought us together?” “No.” You say honestly you were just happy to be together. “I’m pretty sure we were meant to be.” “Me too.”
You had a field day with all of the boys and now you were at the flat. You were extremely tired, but wanted to stay up to be in the conversation. Exhaustion took over and now you were asleep on Louis. Something you hated about falling asleep was that you talked. A lot. And you couldn’t help it. Right then you just started blabbering random things. “Doesn’t that get annoying mate?” One of the guys asked. “No, you get used to it for the one you love.”